Dear Readers!
Peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon you- (السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته)
Anger is a natural human emotion, but when uncontrolled, it can lead to destructive consequences in our personal, social, and spiritual lives. In today’s fast-paced world, the flame of anger can ignite swiftly and unexpectedly.
"Those who spend [in the cause of Allah] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good." This verse highlights the virtues of restraining anger and forgiving others." (Surah Al-Imran - 3:134)
The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said, "The strong person is not the one who can wrestle, but the strong person is the one who can control himself when angry." [Al-Bukhari]
It can be like a fire. And you can’t possibly combat fire by another spark of fire, or pouring fuel onto it – this would result in a massive fire that would swallow everybody, including yourself. Whereas pouring water onto fire will curb it, if not end it entirely. Having a calm, tolerant temper can combat anger like water extinguishes fire. A man said to the Prophet (ﷺ), “Counsel me,” so he (ﷺ) said, “Do not become angry.” The man repeated several times, and he (ﷺ) said, “Do not become angry.” [Al-Bukhari]
I agree that being a calm, tolerant person does require a lot of self-discipline, which is normally “difficult”. Islam provides divine guidance to manage anger through faith, patience, and self-control. This blog post will explore the Islamic perspective on anger management, drawing from the Quran and the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ).
Negative Effects of Anger:
Anger can have numerous negative effects, including:
Health Issues:
Chronic anger can lead to health problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, headaches, and digestive issues.
Relationship Strain:
Uncontrolled anger can damage relationships with family, friends, and colleagues.
Poor Decision-Making:
Anger can cloud judgment, leading to impulsive and regrettable decisions.
Spiritual Harm:
In Islam, uncontrolled anger is seen as a tool of Shaytan (Satan), leading one away from righteousness.
Here Are Some Time-Tested Tips For Averting Anger:
Seek Refuge in Allah (Istighfar & Dua):
When anger takes hold, the first step is to turn to Allah (SWT). “Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.” (Quran 13:28).
Engaging in prayer (Salah) or remembering Allah through Dhikr can have a calming effect on the heart and mind- reminding us of His mercy and wisdom. "And if an evil whisper from Satan tries to turn you away, then seek refuge in Allah. Indeed, He is the All-Hearing, All-Knowing." (Surah Al-A'raf - 7:200).
Du’a is always the weapon of the believer, whereby he asks Allah to protect him from evil, trouble and bad behavior and seeks refuge with Him from falling into the pit of kufr (disbelief) or wrongdoing because of anger. One of the three things that can help save him is: being fair at times of contentment and of anger.
This tip is also reflected in another narration: “Two men reviled each other in the presence of the Prophet ﷺ. Then the eyes of one of them became red and his jugular veins swelled. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said ‘I know a phrase [which] if this [man] said [it], it would get rid of (the anger) he finds: I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed devil’” (Sunan Abi Dawud, no. 4781).
Perform Wudu (Ablution) to Cool Down:
Performing ablution (wudu) can have a calming effect on the body and mind. The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "Anger comes from Satan, and Satan was created from fire. So if one of you becomes angry, let him perform ablution (wudu) with water." (Sunan Abi Dawood 4784).
Splash cold water on your face to relax. An additional benefit is that we not only calm our emotions but also realign our focus from our immediate frustrations to the broader perspective of the afterlife, our ultimate goal as believers.
Keep Silent and Change Position:
Keep due distance from those ill-tempered people, regardless of the extent of their anger and the reason behind it. Don’t react in a manner that will signal hatred. Doing so will probably just exacerbate the anger and exasperate the situation. "And those who avoid the major sins and immoralities, and when they are angry, they forgive." (Surah Ash-Shura - 42:37). This verse emphasizes forgiveness as a means of overcoming anger.
If someone says something offensive to you, don’t retaliate and say something mean back. If you’re having an argument, be the better person, realize that nothing good comes out of petty arguments, and keep silent. When one is angry, they often lose self-control, and may utter words they later regret. Remember, the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) was a beacon of kindness even in the harshest of circumstances.
Many arguments and fights happen because of words spoken in anger. Avoid speaking or acting impulsively on that situation. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said: "If one of you becomes angry, let him keep silent." (Ahmad). Reflect on Allah’s words before speaking. Plus he taughts a simple but effective technique: “If one of you gets angry while standing, let him sit down. If the anger goes away, fine; otherwise, let him lie down.” (Sunan Abi Dawood 4782). Whether it's stepping outside for fresh air or taking a moment to breathe deeply, distance allows you to gain perspective.
Remember the Reward for controlling Anger:
Engage in Dhikr (remembrance of Allah) to soften the heart. That is, our ability to control our anger in this life has profound significance for our next life. "And those who restrain anger and pardon people—verily, Allah loves the doers of good." (Surah Al -Imran 3:134). Engage in remembrance of Allah by reciting Subhan Allah (سبحان الله), Alhamdulillah (الحمد لله), and Allahu Akbar (الله أكبر).
There are also narrations stating that managing your anger can protect you from punishment. Ibn Umar (rA) reported that “The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, ‘Whoever restrains his tongue, Allah Almighty will cover his faults. Whoever controls his anger, Allah Almighty will protect him from His punishment. Whoever apologizes to Allah Almighty, He will accept his apology.’” (Ibn Abī Dunyā, no. 21).
Hazrath Abu Darda (RA) narrated, “I said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, tell me about a deed that will admit me into Paradise. The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Do not be angry and you will enter Paradise.’” (al-Mu’jam al-Awsat lil-Tabarani, no. 2353).
Umm Salamah (RA) narrated: I said, "O Messenger of Allah, will you not teach me a supplication with which I can pray for myself?" The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Say:
اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لِي ذَنْبِي، وَأَذْهِبْ غَيْظَ قَلْبِي، وَأَعِذْنِي مِنْ مُضِلاتِ الْفِتَنِ مَا أَحْيَيْتَنَا .
Allahumma-ghfir li dhanbii, wa adhhib ghayza qalbi, wa a'ithnii min mudillatil-fitn ma ahyaytana.
O Allah, the Lord of Muhammad ﷺ, forgive my sins, remove the anger from my heart and protect me from the trials of misguidance as you long as you allow us to live.’” (Musnad Ahmad, no. 26576)
Understand what makes you Angry:
Anger can lead to actions that have far-reaching negative consequences. The cure is avoiding its causes. Keep practicing. It may be someone at work or at school that you find annoying or rude; instead of getting angry, kindly speak to them. Nothing good comes out of shouting at each other. It's been narrated that, "Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, Allaah will fill his heart with contentment on the Day of Resurrection.". Keep due distance from ill-tempered people.
When we leave all that for the sake of Allah and of course with His help, you will be at peace with your soul. It might be painful to swallow your anger, but it’s best to let go. Allah (SWT) says, “And do not follow that of which you have no knowledge. Indeed, the hearing, the sight, and the heart - about all those [one] will be questioned.” (Surah Al-Isra -17:36). Reflecting on the potential consequences of our anger can help us choose a more peaceful response in the heat of the moment.
Cultivate Empathy:
All that anger and all that rage, won’t take you anywhere – Trust me! Allah’s mercy is endless. Everyone’s point of view will be changed for you. What’s making you angry now, will have a different face tomorrow. Throwing your anger away won’t happen in a matter of a day, neither will it just vanish. Maybe after days, perhaps after years…but just trust Allah and you’ll see how it changes you for good. You won’t wake up tomorrow and wonder Where did all that rage go…But you can wake up next day and decide to use it in a positive way. Just cling to hope. Allah knows even if you don’t say a single word “And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than jugular vein.” [Quran; 50:16]
If someone slaps me and I manage to forgive him, surely I won’t be that forgiving the next time around. By the third time, probably I would just want to shoot that person. And yet we, who can’t forgive people the third time around, expect Allah to forgive us every single time. It’s because He keeps on giving us the success and keeps on showering us with blessings. Then why not start forgiving people for the sake of Allah, to earn His pleasure and as a form of gratitude? You would love the feeling of letting go and feeling so light as a result. “So pardon and overlook” [Quran; 2:109]
Don't hesitate to seek support from family, friends, or a professional counselor if needed. Sharing your feelings and seeking advice can be incredibly helpful.
Keep Interest of the Muslim Community:
Self-control is cornerstone to curbing people’s anger. Keep due distance from ill-tempered people. ”Do not be angry with each other and do not envy each other and do not turn away from each other, and be slaves of Allah, brothers. It is not halal for a Muslim to shun his brother for more than three nights.” (Imam Malik’s Muwatta).
Try to be in the friend circle of good people which can help you to learn Islam which may result as the increase in imaan and also low in Anger. Try and avert the angered person from thoughts that continue to anger them. Reverting the whole situation into a pleasant tone will help lessen tensions.
A Path to Peace and Self-Mastery:
Controlling anger is crucial for maintaining personal well-being, healthy relationships, and spiritual growth. Islam provides spiritual healing and comprehensive guidance on managing anger through the teachings of the Quran and Hadith. Seeking refuge in Allah (SWT) is emphasized as the best way to control anger.
Islam provides a perfect balance between emotional control. Anger is a test, but through Islamic teachings, we can turn it into a means of personal development and earning Allah’s rewards. If you, like many others, struggle to control your anger, know that you are not alone.
Anger management requires a great deal of self-control. By applying the tips provided here, one can gradually make anger management into a habit. As anger management becomes a habit, it will become easier, and over time, you may find yourself consistently remaining calm and composed in the face of anger. Those who embrace these strategies often find that anger no longer controls them; instead, they are empowered, resilient, and anchored by their faith. May Allah bless us with patience and wisdom. Aa-meen.
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